Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
