uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
