it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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