Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
