he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
