i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
