I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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