goodnight i made you a song goodbye
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She bit a glass in half.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
