You work out of a Hotel?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
