well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
