Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
