They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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