I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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