Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
