Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
