No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
