You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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