Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize