The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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