so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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