wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
