i don't like sucking hair
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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