i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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