Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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