nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
