She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
where are you?
Hypothermia
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
