Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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