where am i from again
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
