so that wasnt chicken after all
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
