me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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