What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
