I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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