I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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