There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
