i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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