At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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