stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
