One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
