I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
