Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
