You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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