Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
