Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
