Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
