are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
