So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
