He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
