thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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