So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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