I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He shit in the fireplace
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
