I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
