I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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