Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize