i used baking grease as lip gloss
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We had to coat check the pizza.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
