saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
