So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
